7 Tips For Becoming An Awesome Writer 

1) Don’t listen to advice from writers. I realize that me saying this will invalidate this entire column, but I’m cool with that.  Writers like to talk about writing because talking about writing is easier than actually sitting down and — y’know — writing something.  (Like a novel, or a play, or a poem, or such.)  Don’t listen to writers.  And are you sure that writers even have your best interests at heart?  Most writers that I know are petty, insecure, self-absorbed dicks.  And writers don’t like competition.  Therefore, take any advice that they give you with a grain of salt.

Just be Relaxed while writing !

2) Chill out. Most people are a thousand times more interesting when they’re talking than when they’re writing.  Why is this?  Because people panic when they start writing.  People instantly revert to memories of 10th grade English class, and memories of No. 2 pencils, and lined notebooks.  And then they freak out and tense up.  Don’t tense up.  Just relax.  Seriously.

3)  Just relax. …Um, seriously.  Chill.  When are you funniest and most interesting in life?  When you’re hanging with your friends, maybe having a few beers, and telling a funny story.  So when you write, do that.  Just be normal.  Act like you’re telling a story to your friends.  Write the way that you talk.  This will be much more interesting, I promise you.

4)  You’re gonna have to write all the time. I wrote for about six hours a day, every day, for 15 years before I could quit my boring job and become an actual paid full-time write

 5)  You’re going to be poor for a really long time.So there's that.So if you can't handle really being poor, then stop now. 

6)  You’re going to have to realize that you suck and that you’re awesome at the same time.

So, you’re going to have to realize that your writing sucks.  Otherwise, you’ll never improve.  But you also have to believe (against all hope, sometimes) that your writing is awesome.  If you think you’re great from day one, then you’ll never improve and you’ll never get published.  But if you always think that you suck, then you’ll get discouraged, and you won’t write for five to six hours a day like you need to. And that’s the awesome/sucky dichotomy.  It’s a tough one, but I’m sure you can pull it off 

7)  You’re gonna need help. 

…And you’re going to need this help because it’s hard to tell when something you write is good or bad.  So, you’re going to need a peer group you need to surround yourself with fellow writers who are supportive but also honest.  Some people will tell you that your writing is always good.  These people are lying.  And some people will tell you that your writing is always bad.  These people are also lying.  …But a few rare people will point out the stuff that they like, call you out on  some of the dumb shit that you’re writing, and gently but forcefully suggest ways to make your dumb shit better.  Treasure these people.  Learn to recognize them.  These people are your only hope.